How to Be a Good Parent Today
I think we all struggle with doubts from time to time about how to be a good parent. Mothering is definitely not a job for the faint of heart. Parenting has its low points for sure (exhaustion, overwhelm, frustration, momguilt, among other emotions). That's normal. But we get into trouble when we allow those feelings to become the norm and gain more power and emotion than they deserve.
But what if there was something very simple that you could do that would make you a better mom right now?!
What if there was a way to strip all the power away from the negative feelings that have been accusing you and causing you to second guess yourself?
What if, instead, you could feel joy, happiness, and confidence as a mom and grow in those feelings each day?
What would that be worth to you?
How to Be a Good Parent Today
You might be surprised to know that you have the power to change this already. Yep! And it's simpler than you might think.
Using "I Am" Statements
By changing the way you use two little words, you can totally change the way you view yourself, as well as the feelings and circumstances you attract to yourself.
Fill in the blanks:
I am ___________. I am ____________. I am _________ as a mom. I am ___________ in my parenting skills. I am ____________ with my children. My children are _______.
The words that follow those two simple words, "I am," can really define who we are.
When we say something out loud about ourselves (or our kids), we are sending out an invitation for that feeling, emotion, or situation.
And trust me, these Negative Nellies LOVE being invited to pity parties! When we say things like, "I'm exhausted!" "I'm at the end of my patience with these kids!" I'm SO not cut out to be a mom!" "These kids never behave!" "You (or I) always ruin everything!" guess who shows up to our pity party ready to accuse us more and come up with more negative friends to invite! Think about it — when have expressions like this ever made you feel better?!
Law of Attraction
The Law of Attraction says that like attracts like. And it does. The Bible calls this blessing and cursing, and states that there is tremendous power in our words. Proverbs says that life and death are in the power of the tongue! So why would we want to use our words to bring harm to ourselves or our kids? I'm sure that you, like me, never really thought much about it until now. Trust me, because I know how easy it is to default to the negative.
But what if, instead, you focused on the positive? Even if you didn't fully feel it at that moment?
It takes a bit of faith to speak positively about your day when you've been up with a sick child all night, or when you're surrounded by mounds of laundry that just aren't going to wash themselves. Trust me, though — it can make a HUGE difference in how your day goes and how you feel about yourself and your kids.
For one week, try avoiding negative statements about yourself and focus, instead on positive "I am" statements. Here are some examples:
I am a good enough mom.
I might not be perfect, but I am the perfect mom for my kids.
I am vibrant.
I am energized.
I am happy.
I am confident.
I am the parent of wonderful kids, not perfect but the perfect kids for me.
I am calm.
I am peaceful.
I am knowledgeable about my kid's needs.
I am joyful.
Only Say Nice Things
We've all heard the saying "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all", right? There's a reason for that in addition to proper etiquette. When you apply those principles to not only words you say about someone else, but words you speak about yourself, as a result, your world starts to change. For real!
I know it seems simplistic, but it really makes a big difference when you're learning how to be a good parent!
If you can't say something nice about yourself or your kids, zip it! If you catch yourself saying something negative, immediately counter it with a positive statement.
As with many things, this is a habit that we need to develop. I discuss this in much greater detail in my signature product, The Happy Mom Toolkit. You can find out about that here. It's got all the tools you need to become the mom your kids need now! And who doesn't want tools to parent peacefully and have kids who listen and behave better?!
For now, work on getting into the habit of speaking positively!
Are you trying to learn how to be a good parent? Drop me a note below to let me know how it's going!
Hi, I'm Beth. I help busy moms ditch the overwhelm and gain confidence, so they can enjoy parenting more, yell less, and have peaceful kids and a happy family.